Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
