thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
