I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
