you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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