When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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