I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
