I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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