I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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