butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
