The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
well you can't waste a boner
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
