We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
they need to just BURY HIM!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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