Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
