South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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