your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
