Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize