I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
