Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
