remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Damn victory sex feels great
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
