Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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