You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
