We need to rekindle our bromance
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
