i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I just found puke in my bra..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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