Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
