need another drink. this is the easiest way
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
