I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
