i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"it" just moved
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
