Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
