bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
