It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize