Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
