I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
