I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
