Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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