Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
