when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
