I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
