I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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