HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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