Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
