69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
