well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
