i will never coherently bang her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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