smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
