I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
