I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
