Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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