I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
