Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
