so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
