Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i think im in europe. pls send help
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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