I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
