quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
