You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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