Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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