my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
