Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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