i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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