I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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