He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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