Already got asked if we're dating
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
