I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just found puke in my bra..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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