I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
