An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize