another moral hangover. fuck.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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