sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
