You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize