All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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